It’s been a very long time since I sat down to write. I don’t know where to begin. All my best laid plans have gone out the window and here I am starting from scratch.
With the onset of the pandemic, the art world as I have known it, was up ended. I, along with a group of artists, were set up to take on a new gallery venture on April 17, 2020. Due to age, health issues, and a very large financial commitment, we had to bail. I don’t regret our decision but I am very sad that it happened. We are still trying to figure out how to make a go of a gallery experience – maybe someday it will become a reality. For now, we’re concentrating on being creative again!
My world continued to change as the pandemic progressed. I was furloughed and spent all my time trying to find work. A very depressing task. I was very lucky and began working full time as a tax accountant – then my husband’s hours got cut…One step forward, two steps back!
In July of 2021, Tippi joined our family. I finally found an emotional support animal – she’s a handful but full of love!
Things looked promising at the beginning of 2022. I had gotten our gallery group ready to use a print on demand service and created a virtual gallery. I finished converting my book on flamenco to an e-book and set up my website to include prints. And the pandemic was finally waning.
Then in the spring of 2022, my world changed again. My husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor. As you can imagine, everything got put on hold. I had a hard time focusing on my art, or anything for that matter, as my world began to crumble around me. Overnight, I became a full-time caregiver.
His illness was short but intense. During those four months, my son got married and my father died suddenly. I had no time to prepare for taking over all the responsibilities we had shared; a lot landed on my shoulders all at one time.
It’s been a year now and things are better. I spend a lot of time outside with Tippi, going for long walks and enjoying the sunshine. My tax job gives me something structured to focus on and I have a creative coach that is helping me focus on being creative again. It’s hard to explain how scary it is to allow one’s brain to think creatively! I guess, looking at the approach I am taking, I’m still not yet ready to welcome creative freedom. I am starting with updating my website; there are steps to follow to get the needed results, a formula if you will! It’s something creative that must be done but it doesn’t require exposing myself. The art is just sitting there waiting to be displayed.
I am struggling to be kind to myself. I count my blessing everyday: my wonderful kids are close by, I have good friends that care, family ties have been strengthened, and I have a wonderful emotional support dog that loves nothing more than to be by my side! The adversities of the past year have made me stronger in many ways. And I am finally getting back to work on my art!
